If I Wrote The Future
Would It Be A Doom Story?
I used to dream about a future that never came to be.
Lost in a romantic illusion, I built an entire life I imagined would make me happy. I knew where I would live, the work I would do, the marriage I would have, and none of it came true. I grieved that never-life as though it had been taken from me—as though I was mourning something real.
I used to dream about a future that did come true. Lost in the reality, I built an entire life that I imagined might destroy me. And, it nearly did. Yet, it wasn’t the outcome that nearly destroyed me, it was how I lived with what I had thought might come to pass. It mirrored how I had lived with the death of that romanticized dream.
I grieved as though something had been taken from me.
I raged over what could have happened instead of accepting what had happened.
I despaired that I could not make fantasy real or make reality unreal.
Listening to Jessica Yellen on a We Can Do Hard Things Podcast, helped me see how future-telling can be both a super power and a curse.
It’s not an overstatement to say I have a 98% accuracy for ruining the end of movies. For instance, in the majority of books and scripts with a dog in the title, there will be at least one dog death. Many, if not most, stories about families use a parent’s death, behavior, and or illness to propel the narrative and a murderer is usually the person everyone says “couldn’t have done it.”
People with trauma histories tend to note apocalyptic precursors before the general public. We have been trained in chaotic environments, with a running theme that “anything that can happen, generally does.” Especially, if a person doing a bad thing has done a bad thing before and pinky swears, they’ll never ever do it again. Or, in a current version, someone straight up announces mayhem is coming and the response is “Oh, pshaw, they’re just exaggerating for effect.”
Understanding where bad things might go is a super power—and a hardship. With that understanding, I’m finding that writing the ending for what hasn’t happened yet, isn’t a remedy for terrible situations.
Wait, what?
I THOUGHT PREDICTING THE FUTURE MADE IT POSSIBLE TO STOP SOMETHING BAD FROM HAPPENING!!
*shouty caps intentional for emphasis*
It’s how I have lived most of my life—in anticipation of what if. Which, it turns out, is a huge time waster and local villagers aren’t inclined to take the information kindly, not even when you’re proven right. Historically it didn’t go well for clairvoyants and witches during times of crisis. Torching those who know something bad this way comes and don’t-can’t stop it appears to be a ghastly and repetitive human trait.
And, it’s not as though noticing the ground is gone right before one foot goes over the threshold stops an ass from following. Energy in motion and all.
Well, that’s a f***ing horrifying concept.
Aside from “I tried to warn ya’ll,” otherwise known as “I was right, you should’ve listened,” there is very little benefit. One teeny plus, the lack of shock as events unfold, is usually trampled by despair and hopelessness that comes with not being able to get others to listen and a compounding stress of anticipating a terrible future. Jessica Yellen calls it “writing the script before bad things have happened.”
Can I say what my fellow clairvoyants may be thinking? F**k you, Jessica.
Jessica didn’t specifically mention that people who can predict the end of movies are predisposed to caterwauling about the future, but I got the feeling she was talking directly to us caterwaulers. Jessica thinks it can be healthier to put premonitions aside and focus on what is happening in the moment.
*rage screaming ensues*… I mean, I’m addicted to doom scrolling for a reason, Jessica. Swipe that reality and Walk On By!
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."—Freidrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
It's likely true that using Nietzsche’s prophecies to avoid horrible outcomes would be a good thing. Unfortunately, it appears humans are inclined to do the opposite, barreling toward the future as though the script is indeed already written. The bible is a good example of that kind of thinking. Reference Armageddon in a book written by perceived prophets and humans feverishly act to make it come true as soon as possible rather than do what might slow it down or stop it altogether.
Dear Mr. Nietzsche—keep that crystal ball to yourself.
Is there a positive to having a 98% accuracy rate at predicting the end of the movie?
A month ago, I would’ve said yes. In its current state, I don’t believe it’s a good thing. Though, it could potentially be shifted into an actual superpower…
If I were to center what I do with the information away from shouting “the sky is falling” to holding space for better outcomes and helping raise the sky if it does indeed fall.
Ponderings:
Does awareness about possible upcoming difficulties make one adjust more easily to new landscapes when unburdened by….. “omygodwhyhowthef*ckdidthishappen?”
If I were to let go of the despair over not being able to stop something from happening, might I be a better helper when it comes time to get back up and begin again?
I certainly would have less rage and “I told you so’s” toward those who didn’t listen—at least, I hope so, eMMe whispers fervently.
Chicken Little has a word.
Perhaps, part of being a remedy rather than Chicken Little (my original mini-me), means learning to accept that volcanoes cannot be stopped from erupting, tsunamis don’t have an off button, earthquakes are uncontrollable, the sky might occasionally fall, and humanity has a tendency to throw itself off a cliff.
When terrible things happen, showing up with a bucket of water, a shovel, some bandages, and a kind heart is truly the best remedy one can offer.
This post rings soooo true. Thank you. I’ve been thinking about this ver thing of late. Thank you. Yes. A heart and a shovel is just right.